1. Trains and buses that consider timetables a loose suggestion are the WORST.
Oh, so you have an important meeting to get to? DELAYS.
2. Except, of course, when *you’re* running late to the bus. Then they come on time.
“MWUAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA.” – Bus driver, probably.
3. Seeing the bus/train pulling up and having to make a run for it.
Sprinting in high heels, with your bag jangling about, sacrificing all remaining dignity.
4. When your travel card doesn’t work and you hold up the rest of the line trying to tap again.
DON’T LOOK AT ME I’M TRYING MY BEST.
5. The handful of senior citizens that hold up the journey by trying to pay with outdated currency.
“Yes, hello, I have three tuppence and some mint humbugs I found in my purse, will that get me to the city? What do you MEAN you stopped taking cash five years ago?”
6. Or when every seat is taken up by kids during school terms.
You kids get off of my lawn… er, bus.
7. Being stuck on a really crowded bus/train with that one person who keeps yelling “MOVE DOWN.”
WE ARE LITERALLY PRESSED UP AGAINST THE WINDOWS WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT.
8. Being stuck on a really crowded bus/train with people who have yet to discover deodorant or toothpaste.
Especially when the air conditioning is broken.
9. Or you have to deal with people who take their morning routine on the go.
Although I do kind of admire girls who can do winged eyeliner in a shaky bus seat.
There is a clear difference between comfortably sitting with your legs open and taking up the whole seat.
11. And women who put their handbags on the seat are just as bad.
MOVE IT OR LOSE IT.
12. Accidentally making eye contact with someone.
Four more stops of pure awkwardness.
13. Accidentally making eye contact with someone YOU KNOW.
Oh geez, they’re coming over, I just wanted to read my book in piece.
14. Secretly judging the awful music choices of people with too-loud headphones.
By secretly, I mean giving that person who likes Chris Brown obvious stink-eye.
15. And people who speak way too loudly on their phones.
Maybe it would be better to go somewhere private before you call your doctor about that nice infection you’ve got going on?
16. Speaking of which: When it’s winter and the bus/train is full of sniffly, sneezy people, you wish for death.
This is basically a modern day plague ship.
17. Or when you have to deal with drunk people.
Please don’t vomit please don’t vomit please don’t vomit.
18. Or hungover people taking their ride of shame back home the next morning.
It is way too early for this.
19. Okay let’s be real — just people in general.
With all the delays and breakdowns and track work, the “public” is still the worst part of public transport.
20. Because there is always that one person who sits next to you right before you’re about to get off.
21. Or that person who FALLS ASLEEP on you right before you’re about to get off.
22. Or the person who sits next to you when there are plenty of rows of empty seats.